For an Explanation of the previous post see....

1. http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=anMNUEv7YGAM&refer=home

JPM got a whale of a deal. The Bear Stearns building alone is worth approx. $1 Billion. Add that to the fact that the government appears to have guaranteed the super risky part of Bear's portfolio and you see that there is very little risk to JPM, but a HUGE upside. The value all depends on the term sheet that JPM and the Gov. agreed.too.

For full discloser I did take some liberty with parts of the letter. I have not found any info. regarding insider stock sells or stock selling/put option impropriety by the mgmt. of BS which I eluded to. In two or three years these events will make a great book.

Crazy Co.

To: All Crazy Co. Stock Holders

From: I. M. Nowrich, President Crazy Co.

Re: Once in a life time or week (we'll see) opportunity


For all you Crazy Co. stockholders that last Friday thought they were getting a bargain basement purchase price of $30/share, have I got a deal for you. Yes, today you can buy the same share in Crazy Co. for $2-4, yes you heard me right, $2-4!!!!

Now you never mind that last Wednesday the CEO of Crazy Co. was telling you that we had plenty of capital to weather any storm, or that on Thursday that mantra was repeated several times. Because, as you know if you repeat a lie often enough to yourself and others, it will eventually become the truth. In fact try it. Keep telling yourself in a zen/mantra like state that "your purchase (remember you purchased it by your own free will and that nothing we did influenced your decision to buy except maybe repeating over and over about the awesome financial strength of our company) of our beaten down stock was the deal of the century and that our CEO had too much to lose if he stretched the truth about Crazy Co.'s financial position". Repeat this suggested mantra (you may also make up your own, but please, no swearing or bad mouthing the officers or directors of Crazy Co.) while sitting in the fetal position, one time for each dollar you lost. When you are done everything will be fine, we guarantee it. No, really. Has the CEO of Crazy Co. ever steered you wrong (well except for last week)???

And now since we have guaranteed your happiness, you in turn, will not want to sue Crazy Co.'s officers nor directors for false material statements*. At the advise of my attorney, that you as shareholders are paying for (a big thank you for approving the board who went along with my suggestion to sign us up for some executive legal insurance. You know legal bills can get expensive and that might have led me to sell one of my 21 beach houses to cover my own legal bills. So again THANKS!!) I would like to apologize for not being able to get you a better deal. I believe if I could have had a few more days I could have gotten the stock price to $1 or with a little luck $0.50.

If you would like to contact me about this letter you can email (email only. You see I'm not sure who will answer the phone at our offices. You may start talking to one of those pesky SEC officers) your comments to I.M.Nowrich@crazyco.com. I may be a little slow in my replies because I'm currently traveling in Crazy Co.'s G5 jet (again, a huge THANKS) to an undisclosed tropical location with no extradition treaty with the good 'ol U.S of A.

Legal disclaimer; go ahead and sue me (see disclaimer referencing a previous sentence above). You see I sold at $160 and bought put options (to hide my trail, no insider trading muck for me) at $70, so I now have more money than Mr. G up in Washington.

Sincerely,

I. M. Nowrich
3/17/08

*By reading this statement you implicitly agree to a “no suit” clause in the aforementioned documents that we are writing as you read this. By reading the previous sentence you agree to the conditions forth with that will be written into those same documents. To lodge a protest against these terms please fill out the form that will be included in the “non suit agreement” packet that will arrive at your address of record. By opening this packet marked “How much will you win if you sue Crazy Co.” you agree not to sue Crazy Co., officers and directors of the same company and any and all affiliates, relatives, companies, dogs, etc. of those same officers or directors.

It's Happened

The fifth largest U.S. securities firm, Bear Stearns, has failed (Link). OK so it hasn't actually failed (yet) but when the Fed comes in and bails you out because you are considered too big to fail then....? A side note is that the Fed teamed up with JPMorgan to stabilize Bear Stearns and guaranteed JPMorgan against any bad debt which they take on. In other words you and I are now on the hook for a private companies bad decisions and management. On another side note, Bear Stearns' chairman Jimmy Cayne recently closed on a $26 million apartment in NYC (Link). And finally JPMorgan has a history of "saving" the financial system in the USA. In 1907 J.P. Morgan the man literally locked bankers into his parlor until a compromise was agreed upon to save the nation from the Panic of 1907. This single act made possible the wondrous 20th century that the USA enjoyed. For more info about J.P. Morgan the man, I recommend the book "House of Morgan" (Amazon) available at your local library.

What I'm Reading and Watching Now

U2 by U2 by U2 and Neil Mccormick (Hardcover - Sep 26, 2006)

U2 - Rattle and Hum ~ Dennis Bell (II), Bono, Adam Clayton, and Adam Gussow (DVD - 1999)

As you can tell I'm in a U2 mood lately. I watched Rattle and Hum last night and decided that I need a gigantic TV and sound system and I can then have my own concert every night!